a realization..

“Forgetting the feelings that you have for someone is one of the most difficult things is life. For the greatest battles are not fought in the most dangerous battlefields but in the heart.”

I have read this line from a school paper and I just can’t help to smile knowing that this was written by a student. Her article was about “Holding on and Letting Go”. This girl must have fallen in love so early to write such stuff. Or she must have been through a very deep heartache to realize such thought. Funny coz I can perfectly recall that when I was her age I don’t give a single damn about love and being hurt. All I care is assignments, movies, cartoons, food, and sleeping..

As we all know, time passes by, people grow, fall in love, and get hurt. Like any other normal being, I experience a lot of pain. I had cuts from playing skipping rope, had bruises from running here and there, had injury from falling from the trees, and had muscle pain from bicycle accidents. But none of these can ever compare to the heart aches I’ve been through.

I have experienced a lot in my 24 years of living. I felt how crazy and difficult it is being a part a broken family. The shame and complexity of living in two different stones banging each other for the quest of pity pride. I felt how it is to be executed by your own conscience because of being carried away from anger and loosing someone in times that you least expected it to be. I felt the deadly feeling of loosing a family member without having the chance to say sorry. Yes, I went through all of this and these made me vulnerable and strong at the same time.

Now I am struggling to new emotional difficulties. Pressure from the career that I chose, pressure from the realities of life, pressure from unattained ambitions, and hurting from my beloved ones.

Indeed physical pain is far less than the pain in the heart that I have experience. Emptiness and disappointments are the greatest that sometimes I thought I could not bear. Especially if I can do nothing about it. For we have different feeling and emotions. And we cannot force someone to treat us on how we wish to be treated. Life is just like that. You’re lucky if you will be loved.

But regardless of what is, I have learned to always remember that I am not living for myself alone. I have responsibilities to fulfill and friends to be paid attention to. The most dangerous battlefield might be the heart, but still I believe t hat heart can still be overruled by the mind. So it is just all up to me.